good thing vaginas are great cup holders
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Randomize
