Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
