singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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