the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
