dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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