Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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