Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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