So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
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