I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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