After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
