No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
