don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
