Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
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