I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
