she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
