I will die if light touches me.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
