you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
