Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
