on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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