Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
