I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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