The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
The uberlube is also flammable
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
