Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
