doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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