your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
my poor anus
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
