omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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