hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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