I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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