Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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