i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize