we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
