I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
