There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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