so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
