You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
