Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
