Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
