She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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