Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
