He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
