It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
