What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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