whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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