Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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