is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
