Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
