Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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