i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
