my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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