Just cropdusted the office
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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