wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
