I bet he comes in French.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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