when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
