so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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