Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
