Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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