I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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