If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
