so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
