Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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