quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
