Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
