you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize
