fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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