This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
