I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
