you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
